Day 10 Building Bridges

Yay, I got my phone returned to me this morning!! Our Beijing guide, Della, had it when we met in the lobby to leave for our early appointment. I was excited because my chance of getting online would be greater.  We not only had to use a wifi service of a hotel or other business, but also a VPN (virtual private network) to email, use social media, or when surfing some particular websites. Because China is a Communist country, the Internet is heavily regulated. For some reason our laptop did not have good luck connecting to the VPN service that we had subscribed to.

Just Russ, Kai, and I went to the medical exam. I had heard that the exam location was crowded and stuffy, so we decided to leave the other kids at the hotel at the urging of our guide.  It was true that the exam area was crowded and a little chaotic, but we moved through the 4 stations quickly and smoothly.  One of the examiners was very concerned about Kai's balance. I tried to explain using the interpreter that we expected his balance to potentially be unstable since this is common with people who are deaf. It's hard to know, because of the language barrier, but the examiner  seemed surprised about the unsteadiness, like she had discovered a new problem that hadn't been diagnosed. I reassured her that we realized this and it would not affect our adoption. He has some trouble going down flights of stairs, but he is amazingly fast and agile when running.  

I was so proud of Kai. He was so cooperative for his medical exam, even though we weren't able to explain what was going on. I was worried about how he would handle the TB skin test because I had heard that the parents wood not be allowed to go into the room with their child.  I was surprised when  after a minute or so, Kai walked out of the room with a bandaide on the crook of his elbow! I hadn't even heard a whimper from the exam room. Wow, these nurses were fast! I sense that Kai is beginning to trust us.



We left the exam area and headed to the lobby to wait for the rest of the group. Russ and I were so encouraged and challenged by the call that people had responded to concerning the medical and physical issues of children they had adopted.  I was in awe of the hope, faith, vision God gives.   
After our appointment, our guide took us to a local grocery store to do some shopping. Some families adopted babies, so they might have needed  diapers, formula, or snacks. I liked touring the store to see what different kinds of food were being sold. Here you can see some of the different things.  

There have been challenges to communicating our love to Kai. We have had to be firm with him for his safety when when walking along busy streets and through crowds. He hasn't liked this.  Setting boundaries IS loving a child, but of course children don't understand this.  Buying some foods that Kai especially liked was a significant step in letting him know that we care for him. Like the saying goes, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Day 9 Third City-Guangzhou

Kai has been counting the days until this day when we would get on the airplane. He was so excited. He kept making the sign for airplane. Even though the flight from Guiyang to Guangzhou was only 1 1/2 hours, traveling basically took the entire day.  Kai did fabulous on the flight.  When we landed in Guangzhou we met our 3rd guide, "Helen." She was a small but spunky middle-aged woman.  Right away she joked with Russ and gave him a hard time. We had to travel to Guangzhou to finish the adoption process with the American side-Kai had to have a medical exam and receive a visa to travel to the U.S. We stayed at the China Hotel Marriott. This was the nicest hotel I have ever stayed at. It was decorated with marble walls and floors, and some walls were covered with wood carvings.  One of the first things I noticed when we walked into the hotel was the strong floral smell. I have a really sensitive sense of smell, but I didn't mind because this was so much nicer than many of the smells we had experienced so far on our trip.  A huge floral arrangement was in the center of the lobby.  We went to our room to settle-in. Russ and Kaden went next door to buy us supper at McDonald's. By the time they returned, the girls had fallen asleep. We ate cheeseburgers at 10 pm and crashed into bed.  Eating on this trip was more about survival than selecting the most nutritious foods. The next day we had an 8 am departure for Kai's medical exam.

Day 8 Sightseeing

Today we went to "The Mountain Park" and "The Pavilion." The Mountain Park is a place outside the city where retired people exercise during the week by playing badminton, by spinning huge tops with whips, or by doing tai-chi. It is also poplar for people to hike up the mountain to get spring water. It was a beautiful setting. There was a lake, lots of trees, and paved walkways. We watched people for a while, and then headed up the mountain to a Buddhist temple. Our guide, "Jerry," warned us that we would encounter wild monkeys along the path and not to have any food or water bottles out because they would take them. Of course our kids had bought ice cream bars at the lake. We okayed this because we thought they would have time to finish them, but our bus driver drove us partway up the hill, so the monkeys got a couple of half eaten ice cream treats. There were hundreds of monkeys!, Kai loves to run, so we ran hand-in-hand up the hill together. I loved having this connection with him. 

We had already had several spiritual conversations with Jerry, our guide, but being at the temple prompted more conversation.he was very open to discussion about Christianity. He brought up the topic every time we were together. 

Next, we traveled back to the city to visit "The Pavilion," which was an ancient building where people used to worship their ancestors. It is now a place where scholars meet to discuss and debate ideas and drink tea. We bought a couple of ink drawings from an artist there. The coolest part was that the artist volunteered that he was a believer.

Day 7 Transitioning

We traveled from Guiyang to Kaili City by mini bus. Kaili City is where Kai lived for the last five years.  The trip took about 2 1/2 hrs. First we went to the orphanage near Kaili City.  Kai only lived there a few days before going to Miriam's house, but he was familiar with it as Miriam taught English there to the older children and Kai would go with her.  When we arrived, we were told that we would not be allowed to go inside because the staff didn't want us to be sad about what we saw.  I was a little  bit frustrated because I wanted to say, "Let us be advocates for these kids!  What is wrong with being sad about something that IS a sad reality?"  I didn't voice my opinion because I didn't want to create a problem and wanted to stay on good terms with orphanage. I'm sure in their minds they had a good reason but we're not able to communicate it or didn't want us to know their reasoning.

We were able to salvage our trip by calling Miriam to see if she could meet us for lunch. Of course our guide got clearance to do this from the powers that be.  We considered the risk it would be to have Kai see Miriam again and the confusion that this might bring, but we decided that it would be worth it since we had traveled so far and Kai seemed to be doing well with us.  Twenty minutes later, Miriam pulled up in her van.  When Kai saw Miriam, we were all surprised by his reaction.  He grimaced and waved his hands toward her in a way that said, 'No, I don't want to go with you!'  Then he pointed to each of us and smiled.  He signed "father," "mother," "dog," and "airplane."  This was difficult to watch while Miriam was standing right in front of us, but this was a good sign that Kai is beginning to connect with us.  Even though this rejection probably hurt Miriam's feelings, she also thought this was a good sign.  Someday Kai will know and appreciate how Miriam served and dearly loved him.

Kai with his foster-mama.  What an amazing lady!  

Day 6 Adoption Day

Yesterday we were only guardians of Kai, but today we officially became his parents.  We completed a few more documents, made the donation to the orphanage, and took our family picture. We were given a doll in traditional Chinese minority dress, a necklace, and a photo album with a few pictures of Kai, the city where he lived, and a photo of the local orphanage.  Kai only stayed at the orphanage a few days, but he went there on a regular basis with Miriam to visit while she taught English to the older children.

I'm so glad that we brought our other kids with us. They have had a fun time playing and helping with Kai.  Russ and I would be exhausted if it was just the two of us.  Kai loves to play and doesn't tire easily.  We kept him busy all day and we didn't let him or the other kids look at a screen except for 20 minutes before bed.  This went better than we anticipated, but Kai is just like any kid-electronics have a draw that is hard to break.

Today was Kaden's, who is our oldest son, 17th birthday. We sang and signed "Happy Birthday" to him on our way to the Adoption Center this morning.  One thing he wanted to do for his birthday was find someone to play basketball with.  Our guide took Russ and Kaden to a university and Kaden was able to join in a pick-up game.  For dinner we ate at a restaurant that was about a 15 minute walk from our hotel.  The food was delicious and inexpensive. The seven of us ate our fill for about $15.  We are thankful that Kaden had his phone and knows how to use Google translate, because there wasn't one word of English on the menu.

Day 5 Gotcha Day

 Gotcha Day is the day families first get to see their soon-to-be adopted child.  We had to wait until 3 pm to see Kai.  Up until the last couple of hours before, I was relaxed, but as the time neared I became uptight and anxious.  I was fighting the temptation to be easily irritated and impatient.  Once we were in the van on our way to the Adoption Center, I began to calm.  We were with one other family who also have bio kids so our path to adoption had a lot of similarities.  I was grateful to have them for support even though neither of us knew what to expect. The Adoption Center was a small office in a 20+ story opulent building, which had marble-like tiles covering the walls and floors, and thick marble trim around the doorways and the floor.  In the lobby was a huge, floor to ceiling, mural of baby Moses being pulled from the rushes by the Eygptian princesses' servants.  I would love to know how a story from the Bible was chosen to decorate this building!  When we reached our floor we walked a few steps and I saw Miriam and Kai.  Miriam has been Kai's foster-mom for the last five years.  She is a single woman of German descent, but grew up in Africa because her parents served there.  Miriam and I exchanged big smiles and greetings, but Kai was a little reserved.  Miriam and I have been emailing each other since July, so we have gotten to know each other and finally seeing her face to face was so exciting.  We spent a couple of hours at the Adoption Center, but it seemed as though it was only a few minutes.  I filled out paperwork, while Russ stayed with the kids and talked to Miriam.  I wish I could have spent more time with her.

An interesting part of filling out paperwork is that we had to place a red-inked thumbprint over every signature.  This seems like a pretty good way of reducing or eliminating forged documents.  We left with Kai and went back to the hotel.  We had KFC for dinner, which Kai loved! We were told to let our adopted child keep their clothes on because it would be familiar to them, but Kai was sitting on our bed sweating, so I asked him if he wanted to take his sweatshirt off.  Underneath the one sweatshirt was another sweatshirt!  This is how people dress in China.  We are certain this is one of the reasons that there are not overweight people here.  They don't eat much and they keep their body temperature up! When it was time for bed, I was going to let Kai sleep in his clothes, but it seemed that he wanted to change. We essentially took off three layers of pants and he slept in a tee-shirt and undies. He went to sleep easily, and I think he slept through the night.  Yay, we have another son!

Day 4 Travel Day to Guiyang, Guizhou

We had an early start to our day as all of our group left our hotel at 6:45 am for the airport.  Each family traveled to our child's province.  Only we and another family from Arlington, TX went to Guizhou.  We were anticipating a 5 hour flight, but were pleasantly surprised when it was only 3 hrs. and 40 min.  This seemed really fast compared to our day of 15 hours in the air.  Because we left so early in the morning, I was rushed to pack the last items, which for 6 people can add up to many things! I also realize now, that I was in a sleep-deprived stupor.  In the rush I left my phone in our hotel room in Beijing.  I told our guide about this on the way to the airport and she seemd confident that she could get it to me when we met back up in Guangzhou.  We reached our hotel, unpacked, and then had a family devotion.  It was probably one of our best times in the Word together as a family.  We read and discussed the story about Jesus and his disciples when they were caught in a storm on the lake.  We talked about trusting Jesus, even when we feel things around us are out-of-control.